i don’t understand a lot of this life i live, but i really hope one day everything will make sense. 

resplendentserendipity asked: I just wanted to tell you that I think you're a great person. I've seen how you give wonderful advice & encouragement to perfect strangers & how you try to make them stronger to face a new day even if you are going through a tough time or if you're hurting. & for that, you're pretty amazing. So I'd like to do that for you too. I may not know you, or understand what you are going through, but I do know that you are a strong person. So stay strong & beautiful. You'll get through anything. Promise.

this message actually brought tears to my eyes.

I don’t know why I am so afraid to lose you, when I have lost someone before. I tell myself it’s okay because the last thing I want to do is beg for you to stay. I have learned you can not force someone to love you through my father. Some days I am weak and cry at the thought of you not being near. I fear the thought of you becoming a stranger, and myself, a memory of your past. I fear because I love you and I have never loved before. I have given myself away too much to you, I will never be the same. I want to cherish you forever, but I can not make you love me.

Anonymous asked: i wish you would do more of your 365's. they were beautiful, i could relate to every single one of them<3

i know one day i will. its comforting that you could relate to them. that means a lot <3

watseparatesmefrmyou asked: where do you shop for clothes? it seems like you live in the UK

nope, i live in New Jersey, USA. but i mainly shop at thrift stores, zara, h&m and urban outfitters.

Anonymous asked: I just found your blog but you're a truly gifted and beautiful person. Inside and out. Your blog really touched me and brought my to tears because I can relate to some of the things you write about. Your soul is beautiful and I can see it in your blog. Your blog is literally your heart and soul. You deserve the best of everything in life. You have a lovely gift of connecting and understanding people and making people feel comfortable. From my perspective at least. <3 Be happy always.

ksfhkfe. i love you. <3

Anonymous asked: How's your business going

honestly, right now i am not really concentrating on it. i originally planned to work on it all summer, but plans changed. Eventually I will get back to it though because at the end of the day, it is my true dream to keep it alive.

Anonymous asked: i never got to say goodbye to you, but i hope your new position brings you new happiness and great learning experiences. you deserve it! much love, ben xo

D’AWE BEN. i hope you see this! but thank you so much! miss youuuuu <3 

my god, i have re-read my writings recently and don’t even understand how they came from me. some of them i remember the day very clearly, replaying detailed memories in my head of why i wrote what i wrote and why i felt the way i did. others i don’t remember why i felt that way at all and what significance it had behind it. it’s weird to look back and see how much i have changed through out the years, and thank god i have. although the past has brought me to be the person i am now, i am truly glad everything that was in the past, has stayed in the past, if that makes any sense. many people have asked me why i stopped writing, and the main reason for me was simple. I’m not sad anymore. life has lead me to believe that most art never comes from happiness, and can’t help but feel that with my writing. i have grown too much this past year to ever feel the way i have before. (or at least lets hope so.) for once, everything in my life is in place. my dreams are coming true, my career is taking off, my family is doing well, and most excitingly, i found the boy i want to hold onto forever.

everything is beautiful.

i’m not sad anymore.